Many single mothers find themselves singing the blues on Valentine’s Day. The reality of our aloneness presses in. Friends receive flowers from significant others, going to the grocery store can remind us that there is no one to bring chocolates, no candle light dinner awaits. Quiet emptiness echoes through our soul as we long to BE-Loved in a special way by a special someone.
I am 20 years into this journey of going it alone for the holiday and in all honesty, I still feel the pang of longing as the day approaches. The ache is real, we can’t run FROM it so over the years as my journey with Jesus has matured I have learned to run INTO it. Yes, you heard me right, I run into the ache; I don’t deny it or brush it under the carpet. I choose to feel the sadness, sorrow or longing and I know that I am made to be loved. The ache just reminds me of how important love is to me, that my heart, my soul, my emotions are created to be loved and Valentine’s Day is a strong reminder of what God put in my DNA.
We can allow our emotions to control our actions.
These moments of longing can be very powerful. Without good spiritual guidance, they can lead us to destructive relationships, or into a place of depression and isolation. These places of pain can also open the door to the onslaught of the lies of the enemy. He loves to harass us with lies such as, “no one will love you, you are unlovable”? Or the lie that I get trapped in, “you are too much.” These voices in our mind can lead down a slippery slope as well. When we give ourselves permission to feel, especially if it’s a new practice, it’s a good idea to be aware of our weaknesses and invite a prayer or accountability partner into our lives.
Is there any HOPE
We can’t repent our way out of these feelings.
We are made to BE-Loved. As this truth has hit the bulls-eye of my heart time and time again over the years, I have been awakened to the caverns of my soul that are dark and longing for love. I must admit, in my earlier days, my darkness, and my longing to be loved could be overwhelming at times. Through a happenstance encounter with a godly woman, I learned to cry out in those moments; “What must I do to be saved.” (Acts 16:27-30)
This idea of asking to be ‘saved’ came years ago, in my living room:
A wonderful woman of God sat in my living room after an incredible worship service at our church. With a broad smile on her face she exclaimed, “I got saved tonight.” We laughed but one of my daughters later asked, “Mom, I thought she WAS saved.” I went on to explain that although we are saved from our sins, God continues to save us, redeem us, restore us, heal us, deliver us, it’s a PROCESS of salvation and receiving His saving Grace. I learned that night the magical wonder of continually being saved.
When we FEEL the ache, the sorrow and the suffering our HOPE is in Christ.
HE WANTS TO SAVE US
What does this ‘saving process’ look like?
The answer to that question will be as individual as each of us. In the Song of Solomon 4:6, the maiden in the love story cries out, “I will go MY way to the Mountain of Myrrh.” In other words, I have a way that is unique, not the way that others have gone because I am unique. Yes, I will learn and glean from those who have ascended the hill of the Lord before me, however, I must not expect my journey, or my experiences to be the same.
I have learned that the best way to ascend this hill, is by simply saying, “YES, LORD”. Really, it’s as simple as that. Our journey into healing, into knowing we are BELOVED is simply to say, “Yes, draw me after you.”
We position ourselves to receive His love by saying yes.
We give Him permission to show us the way by saying yes.
We courageously say, ‘not my will but Thine be done’ by saying yes.
We choose to lean not on our own understanding, but acknowdege His way is good by saying yes.
gives Jesus the ability to change our Valentine Blues into Valentine Red
we come under His banner of love,
the work of the cross,
His redeeming love.
Our YES has the power to shut the door to the accusation of the enemy and open the door to the truth of His love.
Time and time again, when I have been lost in despair, hurting and sad, I have simply whispered, “yes, Lord.”
Let’s take a Selah moment (pause and think about it) to agree in prayer.
“Lord, you see me, you know me, you created me to BE-Loved. You know my weaknesses and you God are able to keep me as I open my heart up to you. On this Valentine’s Day, I give YOU permission to love me. I say, YES LORD, come and make your name known in me.”
Our journey, much like Mary (the mother of Jesus’ journey) BEGINS with a yes (Luke 1:38), it continues with a yes. However, the Lord will illuminate our steps (His word is a light and a lamp) Just like Mary took steps, we too will be invited on the journey to learn in the deep parts of our soul that WE ARE LOVED.
Steps might involve
Keep in mind that it is YOUR Journey and the Holy Spirit will guide you. These are just ideas to get you thinking, considering, and asking.
This Valentine’s Day, how will you allow Jesus to change your blue into red?